


Fuck Me Goodbye

by SoapDiSpencer



Series: Secrets Not Meant to be Kept [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bottom Oikawa Tooru, Break Up, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, Pro Volleyball Player Oikawa Tooru, Sad Ending, Sad Oikawa Tooru, Top Iwaizumi Hajime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:48:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26457439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoapDiSpencer/pseuds/SoapDiSpencer
Summary: Oikawa shouldn't feel guilty for leaving a relationship he wasn't happy in, but emotions are messy and loving your best friend has never been as easy as it sounded.Companion Piece of We Thought You Knew 1 of 2
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Series: Secrets Not Meant to be Kept [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1915354
Comments: 13
Kudos: 92





	Fuck Me Goodbye

Oikawa knew he shouldn’t be here. Iwaizumi wouldn’t want him around, but he had to see Iwiazumi before he left. He was going to fly halfway across the world tomorrow, and no matter how bad things were ending, he couldn’t just leave when they had so much history together. It didn’t matter the terrible, awful, heartbreaking things that Iwaizumi had said to him. It didn’t matter that he was leaving for good because Iwaizumi had torn him apart from the inside. Nothing mattered other than the fact he was leaving his best friend and the love of his life forever. Iwaizumi looked like he had been crying when Oikawa knocked lightly on the door of the apartment they used to share. Oikawa tried to harden his heart to it. He couldn’t break now. Iwaizumi had hurt him too much. He didn’t deserve the way that he had talked to him. He couldn’t let himself keep taking it. 

“Hajime…” Oikawa trailed off not knowing what to say to the man who was still the greatest love he had ever had. He was doing right by himself. He was following his dreams despite what anyone said. He was finally doing what he wanted, so why did it hurt so fucking bad to be leaving Iwaizumi? Why did it hurt so fucking bad to hurt Iwaizumi after all the hurt he had given him? 

“Don’t leave me. Chase your dreams… Go to play volleyball, but don’t leave  _ me. _ ” Iwaizumi begged in a voice that Oikawa had never heard before. He begged like he cared about Oikawa, and a month ago Oikawa would have done anything to get it. But he had grown since then. He had finally reached for his dreams. He had found that he deserved better.

“I can’t, Iwa-chan. I can’t take the hurtful things you say anymore. I can’t keep acting like I can. I love you, but I can’t come back.” Oikawa never heard his own voice like this. He barely recognized it as his voice. Something about leaving Iwaizumi had dulled him. The shine of arrogance was missing. Oikawa was slowly figuring out who he was without Iwaizumi, but it didn’t make up for the fact that he wasn’t finished figuring it out yet. 

“Then why are you here? Did you come to gloat? Did you come to fuel your petty fucking ego?” Iwaizumi demanded tears streaming down his cheeks. Oikawa distantly understood. He understood that Iwaizumi was also losing the person who had become part of him. Iwaizumi was also loving a lover and a best friend. Oikawa just wished that he could communicate that and not default to insulting him. 

“I came to say goodbye.” Oikawa finally responded and shifted forward pulling Iwaizumi into a desperate kiss. Oikawa wanted one last great love between them. He didn’t want to leave without remembering the love they had for each other for half of their lives. Iwaizumi’s fingers tangled into Oikawa’s hair and suddenly he wasn’t surrounded by ghosts of their relationship. With Iwaizumi kissing him again it was just their relationship again. No haunting ultimatums stood between them. Iwaizumi pulled Oikawa into the apartment trailing the familiar trek to the bedroom they used to share. 

Oikawa let out a desperate whine when Iwaizumi pinned him to the bed. It was all so familiar. They knew each other’s bodies as if they were their own. Iwaizumi knew the way Oikawa loved having that all-consuming hand around his throat. Oikawa knew the way that Iwaizumi loved the feeling of his teeth pressing claiming marks into his skin. They were tattooed on each other’s souls, and them breaking up wouldn’t change that. Iwaizumi threaded his fingers through Oikawa’s hair tugging a moan out of him. 

Oikawa always felt like he felt more powerful when he was being pinned down with Iwaizumi’s hand around his throat. He spread his legs easily knowing exactly the way that Iwaizumi loved him spread out like a dessert ready to be consumed. Oikawa had mapped out everything that Iwaizumi liked in bed. He briefly wondered if Iwaizumi even bothered. Iwaizumi lifted him up easily slipping off his shirt before kissing him deeply. Oikawa slipped his hands into Iwaizumi’s pants yanking them off with a practiced easy. It seemed that everything between them was practiced except communicating. 

Iwaizumi pulled back and Oikawa easily dropped to his knees in front of him used to exactly the way Iwaizumi likes him. Oikawa took Iwaizumi’s cock in his mouth slowly moaning at the familiar weight on his tongue. Iwaizumi threaded his fingers into Oikawa’s hair the second he got his shirt off. Oikawa wasn’t really surprised at the thrust deeper. He knew Iwaizumi would be rough, and it had been what he wanted. He couldn’t make love to Iwaizumi before he walked out of their lives together. 

“Fuck, Toru. Always so perfect.” Iwaizumi praised as he set a pace that Oikawa had to struggle to keep up with. Oikawa hated to admit that he still loved this. He still loved being used by Iwaizumi. He still loved that he could make Iwaizumi lose his cool like this. Oikawa found himself gasping for breath when Iwaizumi finally pulled Oikawa off his cock. The breath didn’t last long before Oikawa was kissing Iwaizumi heatedly while yanking off the rest of his own clothes. He didn’t want to wait. He wanted to break his own heart again in between Iwaizumi and a bed. Iwaizumi hauled Oikawa onto the bed pressing his face into the pillows as he pressed their hips together. Oikawa arched his back pulling himself up on his knees to show off for Iwaizumi. He knew how much Iwaizumi loved him in this position. Iwaizumi reached over him to grab the lube which was still in the same place as they had left it back when they shared this bed every night. 

Oikawa couldn’t even muffle the moan that escaped him with the pillow under him when Iwaizumi pressed a lubed finger inside him. He was always expressive in bed. Iwaizumi had always praised him for it. Iwaizumi bit down on the swell of Oikawa’s ass leaving the same possessive mark that he had left there since they started sleeping together. It was familiar. It was them. Oikawa could hear himself babbling out Iwaizumi’s name more than he actually realized he was doing it when Iwaizumi pressed a second finger inside him.

“Hajime! Come on, fuck me.” Oikawa felt himself begging as Iwaizumi stretched him. He knew it would be uncomfortable for him tomorrow, but he didn’t really care. He wanted to cling to the memories of their last hurrah a little bit longer. He wanted to try desperately to preserve Iwaizumi like this muttering praises into Oikawa’s skin as he slid a condom on himself. Oikawa wanted to remember this Iwaizumi and not the one who he had seen the last few weeks. Oikawa tipped his head to the side and moaned when Iwaizumi pressed into him a strong hand pressing down on his neck holding him in place. 

It felt like nothing had changed. It felt like they were getting back from hanging out with their friends and Iwaizumi was promising forever as he made love to Oikawa. It was the only time that Iwaizumi could actually give Oikawa a straight compliment. Oikawa hated and loved that it felt the same. Nothing had changed. Nothing had changed but Oikawa. Oikawa had decided that this wasn’t enough. Oikawa arched up against Iwaizumi preening at the praise rolling from his lips. Iwaizumi’s pace was rough and fast and Oikawa loved it. He loved the feeling of Iwaizumi’s hands a little too tight on his hips. He loved the hand drifting to his neck yanking him up so that he was in Iwaizumi’s lap forced to try and support himself on his own two legs as Iwaizumi pounded into him. 

“I love you.” Oikawa couldn’t tell who said it first, but he knew they both panted it out as Iwaizumi’s hand drifted down to stroke his cock. Oikawa would always love Iwaizumi. He knew it was his curse to bear. He had fallen for the emotionally unavailable teen and had kept loving the emotionally unavailable adult that he became. Oikawa had been asking too much of Iwaizumi by asking him to gentle his words. He didn’t know if this meant he hit rock bottom. Crying during sex with the love of your life had to be the most pathetic point in his life. He felt Iwaizumi’s tears on his skin when they both reached their peak and knew that he wasn’t the only one acting pathetic. Iwaizumi clung to Oikawa as they came down from the high both of them shaking from the sobs that still wrecked their way through both of them. 

“I love you, Toru. I have always loved you.” Iwaizumi whispered into Oikawa’s shoulder as they untangled from each other falling into their usual clean-up routine. It was painfully familiar. Oikawa doubted he would ever find anything more familiar than the feeling of being in love with Iwaizumi.

“I love you, too, Hajime.” 

“Then why won’t you stay! Not in Japan, but with me! Why are you throwing away everything we planned together? I don’t mind following you to any fucking country in this damn world! Why are you leaving me behind?” Iwaizumi sounded broken. He was still yanking his clothes back on cleaning up even as he yelled at Oikawa who had also started to yank back on his clothes knowing it was time for him to leave. 

“Because it’s not enough to know you love me anymore! I need to hear it! I need to know that you give a fuck about me! You are always tearing me down! It’s not enough to know you don’t mean it anymore. It was different when we were teenagers! Do I even fucking matter to you outside the fucking bedroom?” Oikawa demanded. Iwaizumi looked like he had been punched. Oikawa had explained it gentler when he had left the first time. Now he was fed up. Now he wanted to know if it ever mattered as much to Iwaizumi as it did to him. 

“You know you matter to me.” Iwaizumi said his face blank trying to hide the obvious hurt at Oikawa’s words. Oikawa wondered if he should feel this proud that he had finally gotten Iwaizumi to fight for their relationship. 

“It’s not enough. I came to say goodbye. I told you that. Knowing isn’t enough for me anymore.” Oikawa whispered out in the room where they planned their forever together. He had to take one last look around before he finished tying his shoes and walked out of Iwaizumi’s life completely. 


End file.
